This blog's mission is simple--to encourage moms who are married to non-Catholics and raising their children in the Faith. If you know a mom who needs a little encouragement in continuing her efforts, I would be delighted if you would share Kathleen's Catholic with her. Thank you!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

What Kind Of Spouse Are You?

by Kathleen Blease

Why do we worship? Good question. It’s a very good question.

Answer: Because God loves us no matter what.

Someone might argue with you in this way:

“Exactly. So why bother worshipping? Look, if God’s going to love me so deeply, so compassionately no matter what I do, then why can’t I do whatever I want? He'll love me anyway. Why do I have to go to church on Sunday? So God gave us the commandment: Keep Holy the Lord’s Day, right? If I break that commandment, so what? God’s gonna love me no matter what. So why bother?”

Well, that’s right. God will love us even if we don’t go to church on Sunday. God will love us even if we don’t pray or speak to Him. He cares for us because we are His creation. And that alone should spur us to want to please Him. Deep down, we want to please our parents; they brought us into this world.

God, our Creator, is our Father in Heaven and loves us much more than any parent could. If you can visualize the very best parent in the whole wide world, what would be the most perfect parent? Of course, there is no such thing. There are wonderful parents, terrific parents: I have two of them. But there’s no perfect parent. But even if you could visualize that, God is way beyond. Okay, so why do we worship?

Let me give you a little exercise. It won't take long, just use your imagination.

Pretend you have a spouse and you love that spouse beyond anything in the world. Anything. You do anything. Be anything. No matter what that spouse does, you forgive. You’re the one assigned to take care of that spouse, to share your life. You cook. You clean. The home is beautiful. Simple but beautiful. Meals are delicious. All the laundry is done, folded and put away. Beds are made. And everything is dusted and cleaned. Your spouse comes home grumpy and you have a smile. Your spouse wants something to drink and you’re there with it. Whatever your spouse needs you will give. In fact, you would give your life for your spouse. And the words “I love you” you can see because you show it. You don’t just say it. You show it. No doubt that you deeply love your spouse.

Now, that’s you. You’re doing a wonderful job loving! Let’s talk about your spouse.

Your spouse doesn’t talk to you. Doesn’t do anything for you. Doesn’t mention your name, not once, doesn’t call you by name, doesn’t even tell friends about you. They don’t even know you exist! Or even know you two are married. You are simply just...there. It’s a pretty lonely life. It’s a heartbreaking life.

But, no matter what, you continue to pray that someday your spouse’s heart will be open and there will be room for you. And the joy that you have been bringing to your spouse all those years will be noticed and appreciated. Your spouse will show gratitude, and just delight you with delight in that. It would be very pleasing to you. It would lift you. But that day hasn’t come. Your spouse ignores you. You don’t even hear your own name. What a way to live! What marriage would survive that? I know I wouldn't survive!

Yet that’s what happens to God every day. He gave us everything. He gave you you. He knitted you in your mother’s womb. He carefully crafted each and every person on this earth. He gave you your soul, so you will have the opportunity of everlasting life. And He gave you a choice along with a freedom of choice--to be with him or not to be with him--without fear of His anger or rejection. And whatever choice you make, He is still waiting for you!

So are you going to be the spouse who never speaks His name? Who never does anything for Him? You might be wondering, “What can I do for God? He has everything. He’s GOD!! He doesn’t need me.”

Ah, well. That’s why He sent Jesus. The more we can do for God, the more we can understand Him, and the more likely we can spend eternity with Him. You can’t really be with somebody unless you are with that body, as one. And that’s what Jesus does of us. The Lord told us exactly what to do. And showed us exactly what to do. His Passion, His Crucifixion was love in its entirety. It’s the first time that human beings saw love in its completeness. It changed the world. It changed mankind for a reason: Because it was complete.

The Father in Heaven designed all this for us. Jesus was one hundred percent human and one hundred percent divine. And his crucifixion was excruciating, yet he was purely innocent in everything. People might wonder, Why didn’t He just come down from the cross? He would have saved Himself a lot of trouble. (I used to ask the same question when I was a kid, and one of the thieves asked Him that, too.) He didn’t need to come down from the cross, because He had already conquered death, and now He was showing us how to live. By suffering and dying on the cross the way He did, He was showing us how to live. In a complete love.

So....What kind of spouse are you?


  1. Wow! Exceptional. This is very illuminating and well done, Kathleen.

  2. Thank you, JMJ. Your blog has been an inspiration to me. Keep up the good work!


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